as I see it

One rainfall clogged the roads so badly that a huge stretch of traffic came to a standstill, so much so that it took me 5 hours to reach from Delhi to Gurgaon which otherwise on a busy day takes around 90 minutes. As time passed, I could sense anger all around me. I noticed a few things, which I had been noticing for years not which is why the title. So what are we?

1. Consultants - We are specialist on identifying a cause (rather creating a cause) after the problem is already there and thereby, have our opinions on what could have avoided it. For instance, a car changed lane in the traffic-block today and angry people all around for quick to react - "Yeh, yeh iske aur iske jaiso ki wajah se jaam lagta hai. Yahi hai kaaran". 
I remember a couple of years back, when I was in a train and I asked an elderly person in front of me if he would get down at the next station and he replied, "Tumhe badi jaldi hai, lo aa jao, tum jaiso ki wajah se DESH aagey nahi bad raha". Ok! How to react now?
Moving on, the biggest obsession, Cricket is a hot favourite of all consultants. You will hear things like those follow often in a India-XYZ match
- Cover drive leni chahiye thee... dekh raha hai waha fielder hai fir bhi andho ki tarha utha di
- Toss jeet ke batting leni chahiye thee, inhe pata nahi hai yeh chase nahi kar sakte?
- Batting end pe throw karta CLEAR out tha, lekin inhe dikhe tab na
- Isko kisne liya hai team mein? Woh ABC ko bahar bitha rakha hai, use ghumaane le gaye the?
- Poori fielding legside ki laga rakhi hai aur ball offside pe daal raha hai, paagal, third man tak nahi hai jee, chauka nahi jayega to kya wicket milega?
- Inhe pichle match ke baad hi dekhna chahiye tha ki ABC ko pehle bheje batting pe, ab nahi bante jee run, Khatam hai!

And what if you complain of a headache?
- Crocin le lo jee ek, 15 minute mein tana-tan
- Disprin hai? Saradon? Ya haldi wala doodh peelo
- Chawal mat khana, garam doodh ke saath crocin lelo aur ek combiflam bhi le lena nahi to badan dard karega

So many doctors !
Coming back to today's traffic jam, many people were cribbing about traffic police not being there. Remember we are the same people who complain when we see them all around when we are travelling on a bike without a helmet!
Everyone was suggesting one or the other route as well as he was dead sure that that route has ZERO TRAFFIC!

2. Future Predictors - We can predict future as we always do and have been doing. For instance, one person was sure today that it will rain till 5PM and yet another was very sure that irrespective of till when it rains traffic situation like this will prevail till next 3 days.
Whenever some incident occurs, it is not hard to find someone who would have claimed otherwise in recent past.

- Lo baithe raho jaam mein, maine kaha tha peeche se hi left le lete, khaali tha waha
- Lo ek aur wicket, maine kaha tha ise mat lo team mein
- Haarna hi tha, maine to kaha tha baating leni chahiye thee toss jeet ke
- Aur mat maano kehna, haldi wala doodh piya hota to abhi khel kood rahe hote, baithe raho ab beemar shareer liye


Worst of all or rather most surprising of all is when people UNRELATED to an incident will say - Kya kaha tha maine? Hai ke nai? - Even when that person himself is not sure of what has happened and how, but will not think twice before claiming a certain thing.

3. Experienced - Everyone seems to have ample amount of experience in every thing! This gives them a lot of confidence as well.

- Bauji, saalo se dekhte aa rahe hain maan lo baat
- Mujhe pata hai na!
- Umar beet gayi ABC karte/dekhte, lo yeh mujhe bata rahe hain... ha ha ha ha
- Humse zyada jaante ho kya iske baare mein?
- Arrey bhaisaab, kab se yahi kaam hai hamara, dekh lena jo keh raha hoon waise hi hoga


4. We Bet - We are ready to place a bet on almost everything!

- Lagi shart?
- Bolo kya haaroge?
- Lag gayi ek-ek Pepsi ki
- Shart laga, fir baat kar
- Lagata hai bol?


And what will be the bet on? Petty things like next ball will be hit for a boundary, an argument on a "fact", and any random thing you can think off.

Thats we, including me and probably you (in fact yes, even you). Those 5 hours in traffic could have annoyed me as well, but I was sitting smiling to hear a lot and recall all that I have mentioned above, not to forget the dirty looks I got when they saw that smile on my face :)