Shiver !

I remember my farewell at school, though it was a party, every few minutes one thought came to my mind - Is it actually a party, something to celebrate? I am no longer going to spend so much time with all my friends whom I have grown up with. A sense of separation it was and it made me literally shiver. I felt devasted.

Four years later, another farewell, this time it was my engineering college. Feeling was worse ! Separation. Another BIG Loss. 

And, no matter how hard we try, things don't remain the same. It is a LOSS. A permanent one. While, its once a blue moon I get to meet my buddies from school (the time period is moving contrary to the stock prices), its already been 5 months that I managed to meet a handful of my friends from college. 

I console myself by saying it had to happen, but again its a LOSS and its getting worse.

While there is still a lot of time before I see another farewell, the shiver and the disheartening thoughts that devastate me are here once again. Within 5 months of last time it happened, I can feel everything here again. Why ?

I don't know. I mean I know what the reason is but I don't know why is it bothering me that much. May sound stupid to many but the reason is the departing of the legends from Cricket. Kumble went about a week back, and I felt sad. Sourav made an exit yesterday. The cumulative loss makes me feel uneasy. But whats aggravating all this is the near future. What will happen when Sachin retires? I always thought how can we fill these voids? I read this article and recalled that he is the one I have been watching Cricket for. He developed my interest in the game. Him performing and taking India past all opponents gave me a reason to celebrate. Him getting out early was the reason I didn't feel like having my meals. The innings he played in Sharjah, when Warne confessed Sachin smacking his deliveries in his dreams, when he thrashed Kasprowich and Moody, when he stood like a wall in the Test against Pakistan, when the committment towards the game for the country was higher than his ACHING BACK and so many like these stored as files in my brain. 

He will leave. 

And when he does, as Siddharth said
Switching on the television the day after will be a serious challenge.

I don't know what it will be like. The LOSS here again will be permanent ! 
For the time being, I would prefer acting as that pigeon who closes his eyes seeing the cat coming to eat it, thinking that if by closing its eyes it cannot see the cat, then even the cat can't see it.

Bad. Sad. Will get worse.

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richa said...

Reading your post made me shiver. Reminded of coll days.. :'(

Anonymous said...

oh..i thot everyone is feeling bad for Sachin :P

Anonymous said...

Its really a big shiver...i have experienced it so many matter how much we wish to go back to those college days, we can't...
Shivers will be thr but we will make it a memorable farewell, at least, in Jan.
Cheers to those good old frnds and days!!

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